How we met.

We met in the summer of 2013. On our very first date, we sat in a Berlin airport – surrounded by taxis, suitcases, and the chaos of departures – and talked about having children. Christoph was catching a flight. Sebastian didn't want to wait any longer. So he came to the airport. Over two cups of coffee, somewhere between check-in and goodbye, we talked about the future like it was already decided.

Not as a hypothetical. As a plan.

 

That was twelve years ago. We've been together ever since, married in July 2015. We've built a life that feels full – a home, careers we care about, a wide circle of people we love. But the one thing we always knew was still missing was a child.

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We started our surrogacy journey in 2021. It has been longer and harder than we expected. We've had connections that meant something, journeys that didn't continue for reasons life sometimes brings – none of them bad, all of them part of who we are today. We don't look back on any of it with bitterness. We look back with gratitude for what it taught us.

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What we've learned, above everything else, is this: we are in this for the right reasons, and we are ready.

 

Who we are beyond the journey.

Christoph works in communications – he thinks in stories, argues with empathy, and will absolutely overthink the baby name. Sebastian works in HR – he's the calm one, the one who plans, the one who remembers where you put the thing you were just looking for. Together, we balance each other out in the specific, quiet way that only makes sense after years.

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We live in a warm apartment with a garden. We host summer parties for half the neighbourhood. This year, we're moving to western Germany – closer to family, closer to old friends, closer to the kind of life we want to raise a child in. It's a deliberate choice: we want our child to grow up surrounded by people who love them.

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Sebastian's mother passed away recently, after a long and difficult illness. She fought with more dignity than most people manage in a lifetime. She never got to meet our child – but she knew we were on this path, and she believed in it completely. Her values, the way she loved, the way she showed up for people – those are things we carry with us, and things we intend to pass on.

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We are not perfect. We are just completely, stubbornly committed to this.

 

What kind of fathers do we want to be?

Present. Honest. A little silly. The kind who show up to every school play and pretend not to cry. The kind who answer hard questions with real answers. The kind who make sure a child knows exactly where they come from and who helped make their life possible.

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That last part matters to us more than most things.

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→ Read Sebastian's letter and find out what we're looking for in a surrogate