When we started this journey, we spent a lot of time thinking about what we needed to do right: the right clinic, the right lawyer, the right process. It took us a while to understand that the most important thing isn't a process at all. It's a person. The woman who carries our child will be one of the most significant people in our lives. That's not a romantic idea – it's just true. Which means this decision, for both of us, deserves honesty. Picture by Sharon McCutcheon So

Before we start: We are grateful for the chance to share a little of ourselves with you. There's always more to tell – so if something here makes you curious, please get in touch. Sebastian: "In August 2013, we had our first date after texting for exactly two days. Christoph had plans for the weekend – he was flying to Munich to visit a friend. I didn't want to wait. So I asked him to meet me at the airport before he left. We sat outside the terminal, surrounded by taxis and

Surrogacy involves a lot of decisions. Some are logistical, some are deeply personal. Before any journey begins, we think it's important that everyone involved knows where the other stands – not to negotiate, but to make sure the foundation is honest. Here's our position on the things that matter most. Being there – physically and emotionally. We're in Germany, which means we can't be around the corner. We've made peace with that, and we hope you can too. What we can promise